Just glad to be here!

Had an potential-almost-probably-not near death experience today. I'm working from home so decided to get my run in early this morning. I was waiting for my breakfast to settle and the sky was getting darker and darker.   I figured rain can't hurt so when I was ready I set off as normal. Anyway ten minutes in and I start feeling little spots of rain. Then there was hail. Then there was thunder. Then I thought about lightening and my ipod. Uh-oh. 

I don't know if it's the case but I wondered if my ipod would attract the lightening and then I got all panicky and paranoid! I started thinking that if I did get struck by lightening, I have no ID on me and how would they know who I was and who to call etc. Anyway, as you can guess I did not get struck by lightening and made it home in one, albeit very wet, piece.

I will do another run tomorrow. I don't normally like to run two days in a row but it's my birthday tomorrow so lots of food and drink will be consumed and I need some damage limitation!

I weighed in this morning and am still 13st 5lbs. This is most bizarre. I would normally be annoyed about this but I am in such a good mood about my birthday weekend. Looking back on my goals last week, I think it is more realistic to set a goal not to GAIN any more weight before the end of the month. What with celebrations this weekend and next week I am away with work and then in Leeds to see the family, it's a busy week.

Then from the start of May it's super training time! Have a great weekend all! x

Still here

Hello! I have been away for two weeks after my disastrous weigh in, which has seen me;

1. Have a tantrum about it all and decide to stuff it all and eat what I like. Then eat MORE because I felt guilty and knew I was doing wrong.
2. Get over myself and get back on track.

So I am still here and still 13st 5lbs, but I'm ok with that. I stopped myself before I'd got too far off track and disappeared for another six months, and that counts for something, right?

Somethings which I'm doing for my health right now are:

• Started a new fitness regime which means I get two rest days. I've always had lots of 'unofficial' rest days, ahem. I think this was because I had some kind of exercise planned everyday and I get fed up and whiney about it. I've decided to try combining my cardio and weights two days a week so I will have two proper days off which I can enjoy guilt free.
• Using my heart rate monitor when I exercise and logging my stats as this really motivates me.
• Going to Sports Direct next week to pick up some new exercise clothes. 

I went for a 5K run this morning which was torture as I haven't been in a while. I'm glad to get it over with though as I feel much more positive that I've made a start on things. 

Goals for April (what is left of it!):

• Get to into the 12stones (possibly unrealistic given that it's my birthday next week, but gotta aim high!)
• Do my 5k route without stopping for a walking break

Weigh in disappointment

So this week I have done quite well, I thought. Admittedly I haven't done much exercise as I'm still getting over this chesty cough, but I've done what I can - boxercise, three long walks etc. But I've religiously tracked every calorie and been under or on the nose of my allowance every day.

And I have put ON a pound.

I know that there are a number of reasons that this could happen, the scales lie and all that jazz. But it is just so hard not to be angry and frustrated when I've worked so hard. It just makes it all seem so futile. And the sun has gone today.

Glum Friday. :-(

I feel the love!

Awww aren’t you lot nice! Thank you for welcoming me back with your lovely comments, I feel much less of a tool now. I have yo-yo’d in the past but not so ‘publicly’ and felt like a bit of a failure. I now feel ready to be a proper ‘loser’ again! J

So anyway I now weigh 13st 5lbs. I did feel too ashamed to say but you have all made me comfortable enough to come clean. And it’s all part of the process isn’t it, facing up to things? So that is a gain of 13.5lbs. Eeeep!

I was trying to think how to tackle this, whether to join Weight Watchers or Slimming World or something. However, I know from experience that it doesn’t make much difference whether I’m paying someone to tell me what to eat and weigh me or not. I’ve done WW and SW before, several times, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. It really is about mind set with me and so with that in mind I’d rather do a free ‘plan’ where I’m concentrating more on changing my diet and lifestyle for good (and learning from my mistakes) than working to a weekly weigh in at a slimming club. NOT that I think SW and WW are bad! I like both of them and know people who have done really well on them. If this doesn’t work out for me I’d definitely give them another go. I’m just going to try crack it on my own first.

I was thinking about what seemed to help me last year and came up with the following:

·         Calorie counting. I use My Fitness Pal which is free and I have an app for my phone for I can update ‘on the move’.

·         Having set days for exercise – such as running Mon, Weds, Sat.

·         Writing this blog. This really helped keep me on track, especially the supportive comments from you other lovely bloggers.

I have been calorie counting since Friday, my usual weigh day. I haven’t done any exercise yet as I’ve been getting over a chest infection and my breathing is only just now starting to sound less like an 80 year old asthmatic chain smoker. I am going to the dreaded boxercise this evening. I now have to go most weeks as one of my friends loves it and I can’t let her down, meh!

The rest of the week will look like this:

Wednesday – Run (first run since my chest infection – not looking forward to this, it’s going to be HARD!)

Thursday – possible pre-work gym work out

Friday – 30 mins on new whizzy spinning bikes at the gym

*cough cough* Umm, here I am again.

Hello!

How I have agonised over writing this post! Yes, I have been missing in action for some time. No, I have not learned my lesson about permanently adopting a healthy life style. Yes, I have regained some weight. Ooops.

After my last post I went on holiday (which was amazing) and found it hard to pick up from where I left off. Which wasn't great - remember that my motivation had started to fade? Well this, with the fact that it was creeping towards winter (don't want to exercise, want to sit under a blanket drinking WINE) and then Christmas and then and then and then.. You get the picture. I don't want to say how much I weigh now, I'll admit being ashamed and cross with myself, but I will say that almost 50% of my hard work has gone down the drain.

I was worried about coming back to blogland (although I have been keeping up with your blogs by way of lurking) because I was worried about being judged and being one of those sorts who yo-yos up and down all the time. However, I do want to crack this, I AM going to crack this. I've been doing a lot of thinking about what worked and didn't work for me last time and trying to identify why I've found it so hard to keep going. I'll do a post on that later.

All I wanted to do today is plunge in and say hello, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Time to wind down

Thank you all for the advice on my last post. I have to admit that I didn’t follow any of it unfortunately. I ate and drank what I wanted and have continued to do so, which you may have guessed by my absence. Sorry about that. L

I've been struggling again lately and I think it’s because I’m so tired of it all. The diet, exercise, work, the endless cycle of house work. This holiday has been such a long time coming, it’s three years since we last went away anywhere and six months since we took any proper time off work. I’m still glad that we decided to go late summer instead of early (timed around when all the kids will be back in school), but it’s been a long slog and it’s taking its toll now. I'm looking forward to my holiday but have no energy and feel pretty down in the dumps. P feels the same – we both feel incredibly tired, unmotivated and restless. I literally cannot wait to be somewhere when I have no alarm clock for two weeks, no having to be at such place at such time and nothing to do but read my Kindle in the sun everyday.

So, diet and exercise wise it’s not been great. I’m not beating myself up about it. I’ve made great progress this year. But I need to be realistic about the next week before I go and the time I’m away. I’m not going to set any silly targets. At the moment I am concentrating on making sure I eat three meals a day (no snacking or grazing for the sake of it), drinking my water and doing a few runs before I go. While I’m away as long I don’t eat chips, bread or drink beer everyday then I’m happy with that.

Once I come back all refreshed (I WILL I WILL I WILL) I’ll be right back on it. I’m actually already looking forward to it. I really don’t enjoy feeling this tired, unmotivated and unfocussed.

I’ve been thinking about some changes I want to make to the way I do things here. I might stop reporting my weight loss (or gain!) weekly. On the weeks I gain or stay the same, I often just don’t want to post as it feels ‘official’ then and I get all annoyed with myself. I’m toying with the idea of reporting it here monthly along with my measurements. (Obviously I will post more often than once a month!) Hmm. Just an idea, and I will probably come back with a completely new one after my holiday!

Thank you all for being so patient and good with the advice. I might not post again before my holiday, so if not, have a good few weeks. I will see you in mid September, bright eyed and bushy tailed!

Week 17 weigh in

Week 17 - 12 st 5.5 lbs (173.5lbs) - 2.5lbs loss - Total loss: 2 st 2.5 lbs (30.5lbs)

I have weighed in a day early as I’m going away tomorrow and won’t get chance. I almost did a little dance when I saw this figure on the scale this morning, I wasn’t expecting that at all! I set myself some goals last week for the four week period leading up to my holiday and to be honest as per usual I’ve not been following them to the letter. The parts that I have actually managed to stick to have obviously made a huge difference. These are:

• Cut out heavy carbs – I’ve had no bread, pasta or potatoes. I’ve had a couple of small servings of basmati rice though.
• Reduce snacking between meals. I’ve always done this as I totally believed that you need to eat ‘little and often’. Obviously I got myself into this state by doing the ‘often’ part, but not the ‘little’. When I was super stressed and eating very little, I realised that I actually don’t need to eat as often as I thought I did. My body is perfectly capable of going a few hours without feeding. I’ve cut out most snacking at work (I have fruit etc on standby if I actually am hungry) but most often I now find that by the time I’m hungry it’s nearly lunchtime anyway.
• Reduce evening snacking. Another one I’m bad at abusing. Again, it’s more about listening to my body and whether I’m actually hungry or if I just want a snack. If I am actually hungry, I’ve swapped cheese and crackers for houmous or pate on celery sticks, a piece of fruit or a glass of milk.

And that’s it really. I told myself I’d exercise everyday and I haven’t. I told myself I wouldn’t eat crisps or biscuits but I’ve had both. I told myself I wouldn’t drink beer and stick to spirits and mixers and, yes, I drank beer at the weekend! 

It must just be those things, which is really encouraging and proves that it really is the little changes that make a difference!

Despite everything I’m feeling a bit frustrated. Just when I feel really motivated and I’d love to spend this weekend having tasty healthy food and doing my exercise, we are going away to P's parents for the weekend. I like going to see them (mostly!) and I’m looking forward to seeing P’s brother and my three year old niece, but it’s a massive calorie fest and I really don’t need that right now! We’ll be staying at P’s mum’s which means fried breakfast, white bread sandwiches with real butter for lunch and chips for tea, all washed down with mug after mug of tea made with full fat milk (yuck). And we’ll be in the pub at some point no doubt. Eeeeek!

I don’t know what to do really as there isn’t much I can control. On a previous visit, we planned to arrive late so I brought some rooibos teabags with me as I find it difficult to sleep if I drink tea late at night. We ALWAYS have to have a cup of tea on arrival. P's mum looked at me like I'd been beamed down from outer space so goodness knows what would happen if I refused other things! I’ve told P that we’ll eat dinner at home before we go, so that’s one meal. His brother mentioned having a BBQ on Saturday so I can probably get away with meat and salad. I will just have to go with the flow and try claw things back when I get home!